My friend Moshe Kaplan phoned me this morning from Houghton. He started off by saying that, on account of the high mobile tariffs in South Africa, he first considered sending me a message by African drum, but that he then thought that, with all the noise that the vuvuzelas are making throughout the continent, I might not be able to make head or tail of his communication. He also feared that, with all the festivities, the drummers might put in an extra beat here and a kink there, which might further complicate the situation. So he opted for the phone.
I congratulated him on his excellent choice, which only came to prove to me that there was still enough electricity left in South Africa for him to charge his cell phone. The way the politicians there are enlightened, I sometimes worry you will all end up in the dark, I ventured. In the shvartze, I emphasized, in case he hadn't heard right the first time.
Well, Moshe confided to me that he was still very puzzled about some of the mechanisms that lead countries to become indebted. You see, he is like that, a worrier by nature. Nothing you can do about it.
Moshe, I said, you don't have to feel guilty about it. It is not your fault. Modern democracies are built upon the biggest lie ever invented after the first woman whispered to the first man “I love you” - the electoral promise. To get elected, politicians have to promise everything to everybody. Once elected, their first concern is to give their cronies cabinet posts. Then they have the obligation of placing their own party workers in the civil service, even if they have to invent posts for them, so those no-goodniks are assured of a lifetime job with comfortable pension upon retirement. Finally they set about trying to fulfil the rest of the promises to ensure they can get re-elected.
Butterfly collecting? A very respectable activity with long cultural traditions in the country. Let's allocate some money for subsidies. As a matter of fact, the National Association of Butterfly Collectors voted for us in the last general elections. And so it goes on and on.
Half way through their term of office, and with only half their promises fulfilled, they are suddenly surprised to find there is no money in the kitty. After all, there is only one cake and it is only so big. It's time to issue national debt. For a while they can breath a sigh of relief.
With the next general elections approaching, their promises become even more daring. They sit down with their sharp pencils and realise they have to issue more debt. When they do so, they find that part of the money that they are borrowing now is going straight to pay the interest on the previous loan. They wait until they are re-elected and then raise taxes, which they had promised not to do. In the meantime, the members of the National Association of Butterfly Collectors go on calmly about their cultural activity.
If by a sheer twist of fate, the opposition comes to power, the situation worsens. By law it cannot fire the civil servants appointed by the previous government. So it has to invent new posts to place its own party workers. In the meantime, the National Association of Butterfly Collectors re-invents itself as the National Association of Grasshopper Collectors and switches allegiance. New subsidies are created. The deficit is ballooning.
Moshe, I said, I can go on and on, but you are paying.
I know, he replied. So? What's new?
