ANCIENT GREEK GODS

In a sense all cultures resemble Greek culture. Men create gods that they fashion after themselves, place them on an altar and then become their slaves.

There is nothing worse than to be a prisoner of your own mind.

MYSTERY SOLVED

Some months ago, in a post entitled Mystery, I asked what, I thought, was a very pertinent question:what is it that Muslim women do to their men that makes them explode so easily?

Having recently read an article in Psychology Today, I now realise how wrong I was to have formulated the question in those terms. I should have rather asked: what is it that Muslim women don't do to their men that makes them explode so easily?

Ah, well! It is often the very obvious that one has the propensity to miss.

ON THE QUESTION OF TAXATION

People often ask me what are my views on taxation. I am not against it. I am for low levels of taxation that are sufficient to support a lean government.

Unfortunately, myopic ideology leads some governments one step further. They widen the scope of taxation to include their idealistic vision of wealth redistribution.

To achieve that lofty purpose, they have to increase taxes, and in doing so, only manage to erode the middle class. The unintended result? The creation of more poverty.

Now, with the tax base reduced, there is no option but to to demand even higher contributions from the taxpayers that haven't yet become poor. So taxes continue going up.

After years of milking the cow, the animal becomes completely dry. After all, you can't have you cake and eat it.

It is at this point that those people who have managed to hold on to their mental sanity begin moving abroad what is left of their savings. The government's reaction? The criminal process.

Finally, tired of being enslaved by an idiotic system, the sane citizens depart for greener pastures. Not without leaving a short goodbye message to the president or the prime-minister: up yours, mate!

SPAIN

This morning I read in a Spanish daily that roughly half of the Spaniards who participated in a survey believe that not enough is being done to combat tax evasion in the country.

Those must be the 50% that live at the expense of the 50% that produce. Otherwise, they would be worried that not enough is being done to curtail government expenditure.

CIRCUS MAGICIANS

Any time a politician opens his mouth, you are never certain whether what is going to be conveyed is information or disinformation.

It was Hitler who said that “by the skilful and sustained use of propaganda, one can make a people see heaven as hell or an extremely wretched life as paradise”.

I fear that his deviant mind has left many disciples among modern day politicians. Unfortunately the circus goes on.

THE CONDOM

Good Catholics are, by definition, not promiscuous. Bad Catholics don't listen to the Pope, anyway. For the rest of the world, it will be business as usual.

What is the Pope trying to say? That the Earth is round?

DANGER

In a recent speech, President Herman Van Rompuy suggested that the very existence of Euro may be threatened.

Whew! I thought I was beginning to hallucinate.

THE THREE OPTIONS

Andre Marrou identified three streams in modern political thought. In his own words (and I hope I am not misquoting him):

- Liberals want the government to be your Mommy. Conservatives want government to be your Daddy. Libertarians want it to treat you like an adult.

I insist on being treated like an adult.

ECONOMIC DISTORTIONS

Around 1920, in the United States, a group of self-righteous religious fundamentalists, moved by extreme zeal against what they perceived as sin, achieved the enactment of a law that forbade the manufacture and distribution of liquor.

Of course, nobody ignores the fact that the excessive intake of any substance is totally detrimental to the human body. However, if, by law, you try and forbid an individual from slowly killing himself with alcohol, tobacco or drugs, he will simply jump off a bridge or throw himself under a train. And then, what do you do next? Destroy bridges? Ban trains?

Besides, there is another paramount factor to consider. Many of the ill-conceived laws that aim to change behavioural patterns in society end up having profound and unintended consequences on the underlying economic fabric. That such government interference in the real economy causes distortions of an unimaginable magnitude is something that seems fairly obvious, except perhaps to the mentally blind.

Let's get back to 1920. Prohibition did not prevent people from drinking. Far from it. All it did was to create a flourishing black market in the trade of liquor, which, in a sense, was the free market trying to circumvent government interference. Al Capone almost sounded like a distinguished economist when he said:

- I am like any other man. All I do is supply a demand.

The unintended consequences of the 1920 law were many. The price of liquor went up, adulterated alcoholic beverages appeared on the market with grave health consequences, petty criminals were promoted to gangsters, government officials turned to corruption and violence became a daily occurrence. It took the massacre of St. Valentine's Day to bring people to their senses.

There is no doubt that the 2007-2008 economic crisis has come about as a result of governments around the world creating the conditions for excessive credit at ridiculously low interest rates. The unintended consequences have been the appearance of bubbles in government bonds, precious metals and sovereign debt, as capital seeks to obtain its just reward. If all three bubbles should burst at the same time, we will witness the total collapse of the financial system.

To make matters worse, governments are engaged in currency wars that, if left unchecked, will degenerate into full-blown trade wars. The last option is undoubtedly the nuclear war.

Should it happen, it will be back to barter, and the free market will, once more, prevail.

TRADITION

When you are born, your legacy is a pair of lenses containing the basic values of the society into which you were born.

As you start growing older, society ensures that the thickness of your lenses increases accordingly, and, by the time you reach old age, you are looking at the world through a pair of inverted binoculars. Continue looking through them, and you will die blind.

Have the courage to take off your spectacles, and you will immediately start seeing the world as it really is.That is called independent thinking.

EVOLUTION

Nowadays, a democratically elected government is nothing but a coalition of interest groups intent on earning a good living at the expense of the rest of the population.

IDEALISM

Humanitarian aid workers in Third-World countries are like a well-meaning bunch of school children who decide to help an old lady across the street, only to find out, when they get to the other side, that she didn't want to cross at all.

THE NATO SUMMIT

Nobody told me. I saw it myself on television. In his speech, Barack Obama praised the leadership qualities of the Portuguese Prime-Minister, José Socrates.

It caught me by surprise. I was totally unaware the President possessed such a wicked sense of humour...

BODY SCANNERS

I had a look at photographs taken by body scanners at US airports. I wasn't impressed.

In the public interest, a fellow installs a hidden camera in his young neighbour's bathroom just to ensure that she does not have silicone boobs that might explode in midair. He gets the statute book thrown at him.

Also in the public interest, the government openly and unashamedly feasts its lustful eyes on your privates. The statute book does not apply.

I'm at a loss for words. Is there no longer any room for individual entrepreneurship in this country?

SPACE

A bunch of school children in Hampshire, England, launched a potato into space.

Just shows you how sophisticated modern children are. Next, they will want to become career politicians, which is a covert way of feeling a couple of notches above their fellow citizens without actually having to become astronauts.

In my day, we would simply take the potato and throw it through a neighbour's closed glass window. It required no preparation, it had an almost immediate effect and you could go on laughing about it for weeks on end, humour being surely the healthiest way of living life.

A final advantage of the old way of doings things was that, once the potato had landed, you didn't need a GPS to find it. The neighbour would take the trouble of coming personally to hand it over to your parents. After that, as an adult, you would be too afraid to go into politics, in case somebody found out about your shady past.

Just shows you how a small mischief in childhood can prevent a life of total sin.

COCAINE

Strange things are happening in Italy these days. Such is the report that I read this morning about the drug smugglers who have managed to find a way of hiding cocaine in the baggage trolleys of the Rome airport.

I'd hate to imagine what would happen if, by a stroke of bad luck, you picked up a trolley left behind by an absent-minded trafficker. You could run the very real risk of going on a trip before you even boarded your aircraft. It could be so bad that, by the time you came round, you simply felt that you had just returned from your holiday.

Take my advice. When in Rome, carry the bags yourself.

THE STRANGE CASE OF THE DOLLAR

Isn't it amazing how, in the period leading up to the last G20 meeting and thereafter, the dollar strengthened significantly against most currencies?

Currency manipulation? What utter nonsense! Free market forces. Naturally.

YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

The other day I watched a strange kind of film. It experimented with the very difficult narrative technique of developing two main parallel plots that only came together at the end. Without a single hint of any possible connection between the two, except for the theme, the spectator was left with a sense of schizophrenia. Most unfortunate, I would say.

I guess that it was a case of art trying to imitate reality. In real life, such situations do indeed happen. All the time. Just that they normally end up in a divorce court. Unlike what happens in the cinema, this spectator feels quite sorry that they are already rolling the credits, the way he was enjoying himself...

To be honest, I will have to admit that all of us are two people simultaneously. One who goes about his daily chores doing his best to look normal. The other, much more adventurous, takes over sometime during the night and couldn't care less about conventions. Most people manage to keep both apart. When you cannot distinguish between the two, you grow a beard, get yourself an AK-47 and go and live in a cave in Afghanistan.

While on the subject of the uncontrolled subconscious.... Last night, I had a very weird dream that I would hesitate to recount, were it not for the fact that I'm sure Freud is no longer alive. I dreamt that the present pope, you know the one with the foxy blue eyes, had decided to resign and that, in his stead, the Catholic Church had elected the unmarried mother of a ten year old boy. Strangely, in Jerusalem, the chief rabbi of Israel had taken the bold step of shaving off his beard. Finally, in Tehran, Ahmadinejad was a much taller man and, consequently, had given up on the idea of conquering the world.

What a sick dream! Couldn't tell you how it all ended. I woke up suddenly with the sound bullets flying around. It was the alarm on my mobile phone.

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Right throughout my life, I have wondered why ex-prostitutes, more often than not, become extremely religious. For a long time, I believed that they were moved by the fear of death. The other day, I came to the conclusion that Rabelais must have been right: femme folle à la messe, femme molle à la fesse.

Ex-politicians, well, those still remain a mystery to me.

THE LIST

Al-Qaeda announced that it was adding Christians to its already long target list.

Frankly, it does not surprise me. A psychopath will kill just about anybody. A group of psychopaths will embrace any imaginary cause in order satisfy the lust of its members for blood.

What we have to remember is that Al-Qaeda is just the criminal hand. Until we excise the evil brain that makes it move, we will just be boxing at shadows.

UPSIDE DOWN

That's how the world is today, and it's no use trying to convince me of the contrary. China is on the road to capitalism and the US is dying to experiment with socialism.

What an amazing irony!

IMMIGRATION

There was a time when you could express yourself freely by applying to the realities of life their proper designations. Not today, no. Political correctness, you see...

Today you have to use euphemisms, otherwise you are in very serious trouble. That's how the poor came to be the disadvantaged and the cripple became the disabled. And what a tremendous change it brought to their lives...

When I lived in South Africa, I had a good friend who was a fine piano tuner and an excellent pianist. Yet, he was blind. One day, at a party, left alone for a moment, he decided he would entertain everybody with some music. So, he made his way to the piano, but unfortunately sat down on a cream cake that somebody had inadvertently left on the piano stool. He thought it was hilarious. You see, I'm as blind as a bat, he would add, laughing heartily at the incident, years after it had happened.

No, he did not pass away. He would kick my bottom, if he knew I went around saying that. He died. Full stop.

Which brings me to the touchy subject of immigration. Not much you can say about it without some idiot placing himself on the moral high ground and hitting you on the forehead with the rubber stamp of xenophobia. After that, it's a one way street: first you become disabled, then you end up disadvantaged. In some parts of the world, they might even jail you. Or is it incarcerate you?

It is obvious to me that some countries, at some stage, may not wish receive immigrants, which does not mean that they are moved by xenophobia: they may not need unskilled or semi-skilled labour, they may have an oversupply of certain skills, there may be large-scale unemployment. Then, there may be other reasons: the particular person may have a criminal record, may have a history of mental illness, etc.

Right now the US is struggling with a huge immigration problem from Mexico. My suggestion is that we don't go through a lengthy legislative process, which will take forever and cost millions of precious of dollars.

I have a better idea. Why not just place large billboards along the Mexican boarder asking a very simple question:

Would you like to live in a country which is governed by a fellow whose middle name is Hussein?

That ought to scare them away.

CUBA

I used to think of Cuba as a country. No longer.

Recently I have come to realise that it is actually Castro & Castro, a bankrupt family business desperately trying to lay off one million of its workers.

Ah, well, when the business model is wrong, you can't expect good results, can you?

THINKING

Science claims that thinking makes you unhappy. That's something that I have suspected for a long time, but didn't want to take for granted until it had been perfectly validated. Now it is a certainty.

That would explain why one encounters so many people sporting nothing but half a brain and a silly smile.

THE EUROPEAN CONUNDRUM

The cost of insuring peripheral Europe public debt reached a dangerous new maximum.

What should this reality be telling European politicians? That Germany needs a stronger Euro and peripheral Europe a much weaker Euro.

How are they responding to the situation? Bailouts. Bailouts are, of course, as effective as applying a plaster to a cancer...

How did these countries get to this situation? By pretending to have achieved convergence with Germany in order to join the Euro club.

The lie has been exposed. Yet, European politicians continue to be in denial.

So, where does this leave the Euro? Nowhere.

Deal with it!

BERLUSCONI

Has Berlusconi been beneficial to Italy?

Undoubtedly. From a cultural point of view, an absolute giant.

How else would Italians have become acquainted with the Libyan concept of the bunga-bunga?

ON THE QUESTION OF INFLATION

In Venezuela, inflation has now reached the handsome level of 26%.

It's no great economic secret that inflation is a hidden tax, particularly harsh on the poor that all politicians claim to defend. Add to it direct and indirect taxation, and you would come to the conclusion that the average Venezuelan probably takes home no more than 30% of the fruits of his hard labour. Another significant rise in inflation, and he will be close to slavery.

This is what happens when the incompetent govern the ignorant.

RUSSIAN ROULETTE

Having illiterate people vote in any kind of election is pretty much like asking a bunch of lunatics to select, from amongst themselves, a new director for the psychiatric asylum.

PUBLIC HEALTH

The Portuguese Ministry of Health announced recently that the use of antidepressants in the country is alarmingly high.

Well, that depends, of course, on how you look at things. Considering the state of the economy, I reckon it is still amazingly low.

CAREFUL CONSIDERATION

After many years of observing the way the world works, I have come to the conclusion that the Res Publica is something like the Cosa Nostra, but on a much larger scale.

THE CIRCUS

When I was young, I used to go to the circus quite often. Those were magic moments.

Now that I have become a stingy old recluse, I no longer indulge in that pleasure. Why waste money, when I can sit in the comfort of my home and watch politicians perform somersaults all day long?

Granted, it is not the same kind of magic, but it is highly amusing.

WORDS

It is interesting to note that speech, this wonderful instrument that we humans developed both to communicate and organise thought, can also be employed to hide incredible lies and present permanent chaos as order.

I strongly suspect that, unfortunately, it was upon the latter use that much of the edifice of society was built.

IN MEMORIAM

I was shattered by the news from Johannesburg that my good friend Moshe Kaplan was shot dead this morning by a group of armed robbers.

To his wife, Rachel, who, during the apartheid years, belonged to the Black Sash, and who will now most probably join the White Sash, go my heartfelt condolences.

Tanchumay, Rachel.

DEAR MRS. MERKEL

I have just read that your government accuses the US of indirect currency manipulation. On that point, we are in full agreement, and so are many people all over the world, especially in emerging markets.

All is not lost. I have a suggestion to make to you. Why doesn't your government offer to sell a new stolen list of American citizens who have accounts in Swiss banks? Last time, it did not stop the manipulation, but, this time, who knows?

I like you, Mrs. Merkel. You are a woman of strong principles.

IN INDIA

I understand that President Obama is, at present, in India.

I hope he didn't go there for the sole purpose of learning the subtle art of meditation, because, if he did, I fear that he might decide not to run for a second term of office.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY

A large government is like a beautifully crafted wallet that you decide to purchase for your bank notes. By the time you pay the merchant, and much to your surprise, you suddenly realise that you do indeed have a wallet, but sadly no notes.

OPTIONS

In a recent post called Euroland, I outlined three possible scenarios in the wake of the economic crisis in peripheral Europe.

As I had predicted at the end of August, the German Chancellor announced this week that Germany would not rescue any European country that defaulted on its debt.

I do not question her decision. She is in her right to do so. Nonetheless, her position may lead to three possible unintended consequences: the replacement of Germany by China as the dominant influence in European affairs, the irrelevance of the artificially overvalued Euro and the final demise of the already fragile European Union.

So, my dear Mrs. Merkel, you takes your pick and you pays your price.

LATEST NEWS

It's all over the newswires. China has offered to buy into the public debt of Portugal, a country with an economy brought to its arthritic knees, and in serious risk of defaulting, by years of gross socialist mismanagement – another of the many blatant examples of trying to subordinate the simple reality of the economy to the skewed and obscure purposes of ideology.

Furthermore, a Chinese bank stands ready to acquire 10% of equity in a large Portuguese commercial bank.

Now, this is what I call true humanitarian aid!

INSULTS

There was a time when the worst insults people would wield around like a deadly weapon tied to the wrist were “bloody fascist” and “bloody communist”. Those were supposed to be mutually offensive.

I have never understood what was so insulting in those expressions, seeing that the only difference I could ever find between Fascism and Communism was that the former was National Socialism, while the latter was International Socialism. As for the bloody, that's something that they both unfortunately shared. So, you could easily put both in the same bag.

The latest (and most fashionable) insult is undoubtedly "neoliberal”. Now, let's be clear: I know what a free human being is, although it is something that, like most people, I have only been able to experience interiorly. So, unless someone explains to me the meaning of “liberal”, I guess I will never grasp the offensive gist of “neoliberal”.

THE DEBATE IN EUROPE

I admire people who were born gifted. Unfortunately I cannot be counted amongst them. Instead, I came into this world bearing an enormous curse. Right throughout my now long life, and wherever I go in the world, I have always managed to get into serious trouble by poking holes into people's seemingly watertight arguments. As a result I have never been popular. At least, not for more than five minutes, or what felt like that huge length of time.

So, when, from a distance, I look at what has been happening in Europe, I do not expect people's attitude towards me to have changed much. You see, unfortunately I like to call a spade a ruddy shovel.

Except for Germany, and perhaps France (why is everybody trying to get into bed with China these days?), let us face it, the rest of Europe is plainly speaking bankrupt. Now, it has finally understood that all countries need small, transparent and accountable governments.

However, that realisation came at a cost. Painful austerity measures that do not just simply translate into statistics, but that, behind those numbers, have disappointed and desperate faces. All that after dishonest politicians had, for years, led people to believe that the economic situation was perfectly under control.

Despite the stringent budgetary cuts, for some countries, the cost of borrowing continues to rise. Why? Simply because Angela Merkel has declared that Germany will not stand good for any European country that defaults. Would you lend your precious money to somebody who is unable to offer you sureties? Precisely.

Yet, when I read that some politicians, especially on the far left, attribute this rise to the evils of speculation, I shake my head and take comfort in the thought that there are people in this world who were born less gifted than me.

PERTINENT QUESTION

Mr. Obama, since tea makes you so nauseous, would you rather have a cup of coffee?

MESSAGE

Last night, as generally predicted, the American people sent Barack Obama a very powerful message.

It was short, but hard to ignore: small is beautiful.

EXTREME MEASURES

I read yesterday that, in recent times, the mortality rate in Portugal has been increasing at a steady pace.

Quite unbelievable how far people are prepared to go just to escape from the yoke of high taxation!

THE BUSINESS OF WAR

Battles are won with weaponry. Wars are won with money.

Prolonged wars lead to irreversible economic declines which eventually are the downfall of all empires.

No ideology. Just reality.