Just when I thought I wouldn't have to witness it again in my lifetime, here we go once more. Those bloody Russians! They and their cold war! As if we didn't have enough trouble with BP, now we have to contend with the Russians. They are such noodniks! Why don't they just shlep their spies elsewhere? Why must it always be us?
A couple of decades ago they actually invaded Hollywood and managed to get into the motion pictures, forcing us to spend all our hard-earned money on tickets just to keep up with them. Now the matter is far more serious, because they catch us at a time when our commander-in-chief hasn't even begun his military training. On account of that, our old Portuguese allies are buying two submarines on credit from the Germans, in case we need their immediate help.
Unfortunately, this time the matter has assumed greater proportions. They are trying very hard to find out how to reduce interest rates to ridiculously low levels, entice banks and people to take unnecessary risks, create a housing bubble and then, in the end, print a whole lot of money to pay for it. The chutzpah! Just intolerable!
There is, however, one silver lining to this cloud. They are employing spies who use invisible ink, which is the stuff we used to play with when we were children. Otherwise they would have their ex-ally Fidel Castro shaking in his boots, too scared to go out from his room, just in case they tried to steal his secret recipe for turning Cuba into a tropical paradise, a land of riches and happiness.
Greetings from Vladivostok!
